Vacation Afterglow: The trips over, now what?
You know the feeling. One moment, you’re laughing with your new family, the sun on your skin, feeling more seen and centered than you have in years. The intoxicating sound of Black women’s laughter echoes in the distance. The next, you’re standing in your own hallway, the silence deafening, your suitcase half-unpacked on the floor.
The return to "real life" after a transformative trip can feel like a crash. That vibrant bubble of joy, support, and effortless belonging seems to pop, leaving behind a bittersweet ache and a profound sense of exhaustion.
This feeling is real, it's normal, and it has a name. Let's talk about it.
First, Honor the "Vulnerability Hangover"
Researcher and author Brené Brown calls this feeling a "vulnerability hangover." It’s the emotional, physical, and spiritual exhaustion that follows an experience of deep connection and high emotional output. In kink communities, a similar phenomenon is known as "drop," the psychological dip after an intense high.
Though our trips don’t always include kink, however, they are incredibly high points of connection. For many of us, it’s the first time we’ve let our guards down so completely in a group setting. You were open. You were seen. You were celebrated. You allowed yourself to be vulnerable, and your nervous system responded by finally relaxing. That deep exhale takes energy.
The exhaustion you feel upon returning home is not a sign that something is wrong. It is proof of how meaningful the experience was. It's the emotional echo of profound connection. So, before you try to "get back to normal," give yourself grace. Hydrate. Rest. Allow for a gentle re-entry. You've just completed a beautiful, soul-baring marathon.
Once you've honored your need for rest, you can begin to tend the garden that your trip planted.
1. Nurture Your New Family Tree
The most powerful souvenir you brought back isn't in your suitcase—it's in your phone. That trip-specific WhatsApp group is your digital living room, your lifeline back to the "warm blanket of support" you felt on your travels.
Don't let it become a ghost town of past memories. Actively nurture those connections:
Share the Throwbacks: Post that funny video from dinner or that gorgeous sunset picture. It instantly transports everyone back to that shared moment.
Check In for Real: Ask how someone's project is going. Celebrate their wins. Offer support when they’re having a tough week. You’ve already built the foundation of trust; now, build the house.
Plan Local Links: Live in the same city or state as another Lesbifriend? Make a plan to meet for coffee or a meal. Bring the travel magic to your hometown.
And for our community in the DMV metropolitan area, we make it even easier to reconnect. Lesbifriends hosts regular local events—from brunches and happy hours to community workshops—designed to bring the travel magic home. It's the perfect, low-pressure way to see your chosen family again and keep the conversation going. Be sure to check our events page for the latest happenings.
2. Build Rituals of Joy & Gratitude
A trip can feel "life-changing" because it gives you the space to be a more rested, open, and joyful you. The secret is that this person is not a stranger; she is you, unburdened. You can invite her into your daily life by creating small, intentional rituals.
Give Your Flowers Daily: Remember the "mail wall" where we left affirming notes for each other? Make that a daily practice. Each day, express gratitude to someone. Send a text to a friend from the trip telling them why you appreciate them. Write a kind note to yourself and leave it on your mirror. Thank a colleague. The act of consciously giving flowers keeps your heart open and centered on appreciation.
Create Sensory Anchors: Create a playlist of the songs that became the trip's anthem. Light a candle with a scent that reminds you of the villa. Cook a dish inspired by a meal you shared. Our senses are powerful gateways to memory and feeling.
Embody the Feeling: Remember that moment you felt completely free and uninhibited? Maybe it was dancing with abandon or speaking your truth in a workshop. When you feel stress creeping in, close your eyes for 60 seconds and recall that physical sensation. Let your body remember what freedom feels like.
3. Plant the Seed for the Next Adventure
The surest cure for the post-vacation blues is having the next journey to look forward to. This isn't about escaping your life, but about making a conscious commitment to the person you are when you’re immersed in community and care. It's a promise to yourself that you will continue to invest in your own joy.
And while the most important thing is that you continue to seek out these spaces of rest and connection—wherever you may find them—we would be honored to be your home for that next adventure. Looking ahead to the next trip gives you a concrete goal that brings excitement into your present and reinforces your identity as a traveler, an adventurer, and a lifelong member of this community.
Your Journey Doesn't Have an End Date.
A Lesbifriends trip doesn't end when you unpack your bags. It's a new beginning, a new chapter in your story of self. Keep the connections alive, honor the shifts within you, and know that your family is always here.
And don't be surprised when you start planning your next trip and see the familiar names of your new chosen family signing up right alongside you. The magic of this community is that it continues to grow, adventure after adventure.
