Beyond the Gaze: A Playground
When was the last time you felt truly, deeply, unapologetically in your body?
Not performing, not posing, not worrying how you were being perceived. Just existing in the pure, electric pleasure of your own skin. For many Black queer women and non-binary people, that feeling can be frustratingly elusive.
From the moment we begin to understand the world, we are handed scripts about our bodies. We are given narratives written by a society that often doesn't know what to do with our power. These scripts tell us our desire is either too much or not enough, that our bodies are for public commentary, and that our pleasure is secondary. We learn to self-edit, to shrink, to perform a version of ourselves that is deemed acceptable.
But what happens when you throw the script away? What happens when you step into a space where you are the sole author of your own story of desire?
The Liberation of the Gaze-Free Zone
Feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey first identified the "male gaze" as the act of depicting women and the world from a masculine, heterosexual perspective. For us, this is compounded by a "white gaze," which scrutinizes our existence through a lens of racial bias and expectation.
The psychological cost of this constant observation is immense. It forces us into a state of perpetual self-monitoring, what sociologist W.E.B. Du Bois called "double consciousness"—always seeing ourselves through the eyes of others. Research confirms the harm: a 2021 study in the journal Body Image found a direct link between perceived racial discrimination and higher body dissatisfaction among Black women.
A Lesbifriends trip is intentionally designed as a sanctuary from this exhausting surveillance. Here, the focus shifts radically from how I am perceived to how I feel. In this gaze-free zone, liberation isn't just a concept; it's a feeling. It’s:
The freedom to wear exactly what makes you feel powerful, be it a bikini, a binder, a flowing dress, or a sharp button-down, and be met with admiration, not judgment.
The electricity of a shared glance with someone who just gets it, a silent conversation of mutual recognition and appreciation.
The uninhibited joy of dancing for your own pleasure, feeling the music in your body without a single thought about who is watching.
The intellectual spark of a late-night conversation that makes your mind feel alive and seen.
The quiet sensuality of simply resting, of allowing your body to be soft and at ease, a radical act in a world that demands our constant strength.
The Practice: Your Invitation to Pleasure Immersion
This isn't just theory; it's a practice. And our upcoming Pleasure Immersion trip is a living laboratory for this work. To ensure the sanctity and safety of our container, this experience is a phone-free zone. This allows everyone to be fully present, to connect without distraction, and to feel secure in expressing themselves, knowing that our shared moments are protected and remain within the group.
On this trip, we translate these ideas into your lived reality:
Through guided somatic movement, we learn to listen to the wisdom of our bodies, decoding the messages they've been sending us for years.
In our sensory dining experiences, we rediscover taste, texture, and aroma, awakening our senses in a mindful and delicious way.
Our workshops on Tantric breathing and conscious communication provide the tools to identify, articulate, and ask for what you truly desire.
The optional Sensual Embodiment Portrait Session is a guided, collaborative boudoir experience. This is a powerful opportunity to feel pleasure in being embodied and to see your own power reflected back at you. It’s not about posing for an audience; it’s about creating a beautiful, private keepsake to relish in your own sensuality, a tangible reminder of your journey home to yourself.
The Politics of Feeling Good
In her groundbreaking book Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, author and activist Adrienne Maree Brown writes, "Pleasure is the point. Feeling good is not frivolous, it is freedom."
This is our guiding principle. In a world that profits from our insecurity, choosing our own pleasure is a revolutionary act. The data shows that pleasure itself is unequally distributed. For instance, a 2018 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy highlighted the "orgasm gap," revealing that women of color report lower rates of orgasm than their white counterparts. Closing this gap is a matter of justice.
Focusing on our joy, our sensuality, and our pleasure is how we heal from the inside out. It is how we generate the energy to not only survive, but to thrive, create, and lead.
Your Pleasure is Your Power.
This journey is about more than a week away. It's about learning a new language of self-love and desire that you can take with you for the rest of your life. It is about giving yourself permission to feel good, unapologetically.
If you are ready to step out from under the gaze and into your own magnificent power, we invite you to join us.
